FFfAW- Through the Rain

Posted: September 8, 2015 by J.A. Prentice in Flash Fiction
Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Here’s my response to this week’s Flash Fiction for Aspiring Writers, which can be found here. I wasn’t entirely sure how this would end when I started it, but I actually really like how it turned out.

Word Count: 146

I look out past the streaking rain, at the watercolor scene beyond. It’s a blur of reds and oranges, so vibrant and alive. The rain patters softly against the window, a steady beat of water on glass.

“Do you see it?” she asks.

I look again, deeper and closer, through the rain, through the colors, through everything.

“Yes,” I reply.

It’s only a single spot, a splatter of midnight amidst the endless autumn colors, but it seems realer than everything else. I reach out and press my finger to it. I expect to feel the glass, but I don’t. My finger slips through, as if passing through a veil.

“It’s always there,” she says. “Just out of sight. Hidden.”

She smiles and puts a hand on my shoulder.

“Go on. Step through. Don’t be afraid.”

I take a deep breath, then step into the infinite unknown.

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Comments
  1. That is awesome! I really like the way it ended too. These two lines are great, “I expect to feel the glass but I don’t, my finger slips through, as if passing through a veil.” That gives the reader an expectation of something to come. Excellent! Thank you for participating in the Flash Fiction for Aspiring Writers Challenge.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. mandibelle16 says:

    There is a poem I`ve written about before called the `Whirl Pool` by Margaret Avison. It reminds me of that poem in a way because going into the whirlpool is like stepping through that spot into the infinite unknown. The poem simply adds that not everyone makes it out, but some do and discover the wonderful things on the otherside. Great job, I loved your story.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Tessa says:

    What a great story. Would love to read more of it.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I like the through the looking glass idea. There is that spot there isn’t there?

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Loved this little take on prompt

    Liked by 1 person

  6. afairymind says:

    How very intriguing! I wonder where it will take them? Beautifully written. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Joy Pixley says:

    Beautiful, and intriguing! Leaves me wondering, where did he go? How did she know about it and why didn’t she mention it before? Hm….

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Into the great orange yonder! Hope there’s a nice surprise waiting out there!
    Rosey Pinkerton’s blog

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Ameena k.g says:

    And I wonder where it takes him to, but I have a feeling wherever this infinite possibility lies, heis happy. This really is a creative take on the prompt. Great job.

    Liked by 1 person

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