Here’s my response to this week’s Flash Fiction for Aspiring Writers, which can be found here. I wasn’t entirely sure how this would end when I started it, but I actually really like how it turned out.
Word Count: 146
I look out past the streaking rain, at the watercolor scene beyond. It’s a blur of reds and oranges, so vibrant and alive. The rain patters softly against the window, a steady beat of water on glass.
“Do you see it?” she asks.
I look again, deeper and closer, through the rain, through the colors, through everything.
“Yes,” I reply.
It’s only a single spot, a splatter of midnight amidst the endless autumn colors, but it seems realer than everything else. I reach out and press my finger to it. I expect to feel the glass, but I don’t. My finger slips through, as if passing through a veil.
“It’s always there,” she says. “Just out of sight. Hidden.”
She smiles and puts a hand on my shoulder.
“Go on. Step through. Don’t be afraid.”
I take a deep breath, then step into the infinite unknown.
That is awesome! I really like the way it ended too. These two lines are great, “I expect to feel the glass but I don’t, my finger slips through, as if passing through a veil.” That gives the reader an expectation of something to come. Excellent! Thank you for participating in the Flash Fiction for Aspiring Writers Challenge.
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Thank you!
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There is a poem I`ve written about before called the `Whirl Pool` by Margaret Avison. It reminds me of that poem in a way because going into the whirlpool is like stepping through that spot into the infinite unknown. The poem simply adds that not everyone makes it out, but some do and discover the wonderful things on the otherside. Great job, I loved your story.
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Thank you! I don’t recall ever reading that poem, but it sounds very interesting.
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What a great story. Would love to read more of it.
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Thanks!
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I like the through the looking glass idea. There is that spot there isn’t there?
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Thank you! Yes, I noticed the spot and that was what inspired me.
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Good job. 🙂
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Thanks!
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Loved this little take on prompt
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Thanks!
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How very intriguing! I wonder where it will take them? Beautifully written. 🙂
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Thank you!
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Beautiful, and intriguing! Leaves me wondering, where did he go? How did she know about it and why didn’t she mention it before? Hm….
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Thanks. I’m glad my story left you wondering. The mystery’s a big part of the fun. 😉
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Into the great orange yonder! Hope there’s a nice surprise waiting out there!
Rosey Pinkerton’s blog
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I’d say a mysterious other world would certainly be surprising- and hopefully nice, but one can never be sure of that. Thanks for reading and commenting.
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And I wonder where it takes him to, but I have a feeling wherever this infinite possibility lies, heis happy. This really is a creative take on the prompt. Great job.
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Thank you!
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