2016 Golden Globes Recap/Reactions

Another year, another bout of watching Ricky Gervais roast a bunch of celebrities at the Golden Globes. It’s a wonder the people behind the show keep letting him back, seeing as his shtick involves open contempt for the people in the room. Not that I mind, since he was hilarious as usual. But this recap won’t be a review on well he did as host. Instead, let’s recap the winners and losers. The shocks and the… lower voltage ones. And what it all means as far as odds for the big one- the Academy Awards.

Television disclaimer- 

Apparently I watch no television. I’ve seen at least one episode of only four of the shows nominated, and only really liked one. So I can’t talk with much personal opinion here, but hey- maybe that just makes me impartial.

TV Wrap up

Headlines: The CW is on a roll and Amazon just dethroned Netflix for original TV on a streaming service.

In TV this year, Jon Hamm got one more Golden Globe for Mad Men‘s swan song, surprising no one. However, Rachel freakin’ Bloom from The CW’s Crazy Ex Girlfriend took home the award for actress in a comedy. The CW’s underrated musical comedy beat out its own flagship comedy- Jane the Virgin in probably the biggest upstart win in the TV category. (And I’m thrilled. Crazy Ex Girlfriend is the aforementioned one show I’ve seen and liked out of the categories. Here’s a taste of its strangeness.) Hopefully next year we’ll get some representation from the other musical comedy on network TV, Galavant. But if so we’ll probably be living in a world where pigs fly.


Meanwhile, Netflix, largely resting on its laurels, just got turned around and thoroughly spanked by Amazon. Amazon’s Mozart in the Jungle took home best comedy series, beating Orange is the New Black. Mozart’s Gael Garcia Bernal also won best actor. (During the nomination announcements, Aziz Ansari of Netflix’s Master of None hilariously held up a book entitled “losing to Jeffrey Tambor with dignity.” Wrong actor, right website, Aziz.) They’ll be the place to beat in the coming year. And as a guy with a Netflix subscription but not Amazon prime… I’d love to see Netflix respond.

In another shock, Lady Gaga took home best actress for American Horror Story: Hotel. Not a sentence I ever imagined making sense a year ago… Empire got on the board with a win for Taraji P. Henson and it wasn’t a network, premium, or streaming company that won best drama. It was USA’s Mr. Robot. Talk about a channel coming out of nowhere. (insert U-S-A chant here.)

Movie wrap up

Headlines: The Revenant reigns supreme, Carol and Spotlight snubbed.

Let’s be honest. The Golden Globes are in many ways simply the dress rehearsal to the big show- the Academy awards. Not to say none of these people truly think- as Ricky Gervais often joked- that the awards are useless, but a Golden Globe win and Academy award loss is often seen as a lot less impressive than the reverse. Just ask Boyhood, which dominated the dress rehearsal only to be the bridesmaid to Birdman at the big dance. So while The Revenant won the night, supporters of Carol and Spotlight shouldn’t fret. Yet.

Carol was seen as a favorite going in, and came out winless. Spotlight seemed to have “2015’s best ensemble biopic” wrapped up until The Big Short premiered, and the Golden Globes decided there was only enough room for one of them- that one being largely The Big Short. I personally thought Spotlight was fantastic, one of the best ensembles I’ve seen in years. Here’s hoping it has a better night next month.

But yes, The Revenant was the big winner, taking home all of the big three awards- best actor, director, and picture. (Sidenote/shameless plug: My novella, Revenant, got a weird bump in sales today. Hopefully no one bought it thinking it was the book the movie was based on. Then again, it DOES say it’s a Young Adult vampire novella…) Should we expect The Revenant to win as easily at the Academy awards? Well, let’s leave that for the conclusion. Because yeah, there were other movies nominated tonight. Also, there’s a rant to get to first.




First, a quickfire round: Inside Out won best animated film because of course it would, Jennifer Lawrence added yet another win to her resume, the 20 or so people who vote on the Golden Globes were apparently 20 of the 24 people who actually saw Steve Jobs, Sylvester Stallone’s win brought the crowd to its feet, and Ridley Scott was a dick to the band.

Now, I have a bone or two to pick with you, Golden Globes.

In which Jaden rants about comedy

Do me a favor, Hollywood Foreign Press Association, and pull up google for a second, or a dictionary if you prefer to be off the grid. And search up the meaning of the word “comedy.”

a movie, play, or broadcast program intended to make an audience laugh.
Joy is not a comedy. The Martian was not a comedy. Now you might tell me “but wait, Jaden, The Martian was actually funny and definitely intended for laughter.” To which I say, comedy and a movie having comic relief are different things. And to be nominated as a comedy almost seems like an insult, doesn’t it? A movie intended to be a tense nailbiter- Apollo 13 in space, essentially- getting nominated for comedy seems like an ironic joke. Like saying “Plan 9 From Outer Space” is a comedy. But to be fair, it’s not like The Martian stood a shot at winning anything dramatic. As JA Prentice and I noted in our double review, the movie features flat, one-note characters with an absurd ending.
A couple true comedies got a nomination, Spy and Trainwreck. But despite actually being what the category asked for, they never stood a chance.
Why? Because since dramas somehow snuck their way into the mix. Of freaking course Jennifer Lawrence was a better actress in Joy than her bestie Amy Schumer in Trainwreck. You don’t really need to- or even often try to- have a performance of the same technical caliber as Lawrence’s in a true comedy. Amy Schumer and Melissa McCarthy were simply trying to make us laugh. As the definition of “comedy” would imply.
“But they were still kinda comedies,” I hear you say. “Just because they weren’t total comedy doesn’t mean they shouldn’t have been nominated!
Well, let me just copy paste what it says for the wikipedia articles for the movies.
Joy is a 2015 American semi-biographical drama film
The Martian is a 2015 American science fiction film
Spy is a 2015 American action spy comedy film
Trainwreck is a 2015 American romantic comedy film
clears throat
Now, with the rant completed, it’s time for a conclusion. A wrap up to the wrap up, if you will. Where do we stand with regards to the Academy Awards? Whose odds am I bullish on, and which movies are gonna come up a bit short?
Well, Brooklyn’s hype levels went from 100 to 0 in a hurry. Star Saoirse Ronan got like 2 seconds of screentime as the movie lost its only nomination. Similarly, The Danish Girl’s quiet night has me down on Eddie Redmayne’s chances for a repeat of best actor. The Revenant seems set up for a clean sweep, but remember last time it was Boyhood winning at the Globes, only to be snubbed at the Academy Awards. Perhaps this was more of a “sorry, Mr. Inarritu” by the HFPA than a true sign that he made the undeniable best picture of the year. Spotlight doesn’t appear to have much momentum going into the final showdown, though Carol seems to still be going strong.
But there’s a dark horse now. A little-hyped film that’s suddenly making some serious noise. Room.
No, not The Room, the movie often ridiculed as the worst one of all time. It’s sans the article this time. (Just as MY book is Revenant, not THE Revenant.) Room won best actress and was nominated for screenplay. It may seem silly, but I think when it comes to award season there is such a thing as “getting hot at the right time.” Remember how the best actor award last year was as good as Michael Keaton’s? And then came Eddie Redmayne, becoming the odds on favorite just days before the show. Same with Jennifer Lawrence outpacing Jessica Chastain in 2012. Will it actually pull off the upset? Not sure. But it will surely make the 2015 race a lot more interesting.
And finally
I’m not gonna do a best/worst dressed because 1. I feel like picking out the worst dressed people is really really high school Mean Girl-ish and 2. I don’t really know the first thing about fashion. But I will say this. Jamie Alexander. That is all.


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