The Lucky Ones

Posted: November 13, 2016 by J.A. Prentice in Uncategorized
Tags: , , , , , , , , ,

181-11-november-13th-2016

He watched from the shoreline as the ships gathered in the bay, filling the sparkling marbled blue of the water. There was a barrier in front of him, telling him to go no further, and yellow lines on the ground, telling him that he had already gone too far. He wasn’t supposed to be there. If the Inspectors found him, they could have him imprisoned. Or, if they didn’t want to take the time to look him up, they could say he was resisting arrest and fill him with bullets. He knew he shouldn’t have come, that the risk was too great.

But he had to see. He had to see them leave.

They were the lucky ones, the ones healthy enough, wealthy enough, their pasts clean enough, to enter utopia. They were the elite, the ones who had been selected for survival, and they were running.

The ships began to turn, heading one by one out into the infinite blue. He watched as they went, leaving him behind, the saved in their precious arks.

It won’t work, he thought. They’re running, but they’re bringing everything with them. It’ll just start again. 

They’re no better off than I am. 


Word Count: 199

This is for Sunday Photo Fiction!

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Comments
  1. Harry Writes says:

    “There was a barrier in front of him, telling him to go no further, and yellow lines on the ground, telling him that he had already gone too far.”

    Great sentence. You’ve wooed me in the second line. Good job.

    “He wasn’t supposed to be there.”

    This is unnecessary, you covered that in the last line.

    “They were the lucky ones, the ones healthy enough, wealthy enough, their pasts clean enough, to enter utopia. They were the elite, the ones who had been selected for survival, and they were running.”

    There is a lot of tell here. I suppose, and rightly so, that this is a flash-fiction, and some degree of telling is expected.

    This piece is strong. I wish for perhaps a little more mystery, but that is by-the-by. Keep writing. I’ll keep reading.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. […] via The Lucky Ones — livingauthorssociety […]

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  3. Steve Lakey says:

    A grim view of the future. The story drew me in very quickly.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Reminds me a bit of the Dr Who story where he goes tot he end of time. I enjoyed this. The fear of history repeating itself.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Iain Kelly says:

    Great tale and a strong moral lesson. Nice one.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. julespaige says:

    I was just watching a show about the cosmos the other evening and your point that ‘they are bringing it all with them’ is so apropos. Our own life on earth could have come from thousands of light years away sheltered in an asteroid or meteor.

    One can run…but they cannot hide. Your piece also reminds me of the book https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Soylent_Green

    Liked by 1 person

  7. mandibelle16 says:

    That’s a scary future. Separating the worthy from the unworthy, but even the worthy with their money and health etc, are still human and falliable. He’s right, they’re no better off than him. I see a dystopia soon enough. As always JA great write.

    Liked by 1 person

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