The Lucky Ones

181-11-november-13th-2016

He watched from the shoreline as the ships gathered in the bay, filling the sparkling marbled blue of the water. There was a barrier in front of him, telling him to go no further, and yellow lines on the ground, telling him that he had already gone too far. He wasn’t supposed to be there. If the Inspectors found him, they could have him imprisoned. Or, if they didn’t want to take the time to look him up, they could say he was resisting arrest and fill him with bullets. He knew he shouldn’t have come, that the risk was too great.

But he had to see. He had to see them leave.

They were the lucky ones, the ones healthy enough, wealthy enough, their pasts clean enough, to enter utopia. They were the elite, the ones who had been selected for survival, and they were running.

The ships began to turn, heading one by one out into the infinite blue. He watched as they went, leaving him behind, the saved in their precious arks.

It won’t work, he thought. They’re running, but they’re bringing everything with them. It’ll just start again. 

They’re no better off than I am. 


Word Count: 199

This is for Sunday Photo Fiction!

18 thoughts on “The Lucky Ones

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  1. “There was a barrier in front of him, telling him to go no further, and yellow lines on the ground, telling him that he had already gone too far.”

    Great sentence. You’ve wooed me in the second line. Good job.

    “He wasn’t supposed to be there.”

    This is unnecessary, you covered that in the last line.

    “They were the lucky ones, the ones healthy enough, wealthy enough, their pasts clean enough, to enter utopia. They were the elite, the ones who had been selected for survival, and they were running.”

    There is a lot of tell here. I suppose, and rightly so, that this is a flash-fiction, and some degree of telling is expected.

    This piece is strong. I wish for perhaps a little more mystery, but that is by-the-by. Keep writing. I’ll keep reading.

    Liked by 1 person

      1. Where he meets Yana. What makes me laugh is that in the TV series “Vicious”, there are two old men – Ian McKellen and Derek Jacobi, and McKellen goes on about his role in Dr Who and although he did have a role, albeit just a voice, Jacobi is the one that is remembered more as he remembered he was the Master and turned into John Simm. Incidentally, Iwan Rheon is also in Vicious as a comedy actor, far flung from his role as Ramsay Boulton in Game of Thrones.

        Liked by 1 person

  2. That’s a scary future. Separating the worthy from the unworthy, but even the worthy with their money and health etc, are still human and falliable. He’s right, they’re no better off than him. I see a dystopia soon enough. As always JA great write.

    Liked by 1 person

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