Guardian of the Tomb

Posted: July 3, 2017 by J.A. Prentice in Flash Fiction
Tags: , , , , , ,


A hiss and a slow, winding slither. A flicker of a flame-thin tongue between two white teeth.

Kenna froze under the branches of the ancient tree, inches from the cracked, moss-covered gateway into the ancient tomb, and stared at the serpent hanging down in front of her, its scales shimmering in the evening light.

A single venomous bite and she’d be dead. A movement, a breath, could startle it and she’s be done for before she could move.

But wait and it might strike anyway.

Her hand twitched, a subtle movement towards her belt. The serpent’s tongue flashed.

Her fingers closed on cold steel and the serpent lunged, mouth spread wide.

The machete hacked through the writhing coils and the serpent’s head flew off, landing amidst the stones.

Kenna’s heart pounded in her chest as she looked down at the bloodstained steel.

Then she stepped forward, into the tomb’s shadow.

Word Count: 150

This is for Flash Fiction for Aspiring Writers. Thanks to Priceless Joy for running the challenge and Kecia Spartin for providing the prompt photo!

  1. Dirty Little Daydreams says:

    Loved this story – I especially loved the female lead taking control of the situation instead of fearing it. And the tomb – makes me want to read a part two 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  2. A very good story. Thanks for sharing!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Moon says:

    Action-packed and very interesting 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Great story J.A.! Kenna wasn’t going to allow that serpant keep her from going inside the tomb! Very tension filled!

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Iain Kelly says:

    Kenna’s brave, I’d have turned and run! Don’t think I want to know what else lies inside the tomb! Great story, loved the tension.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. michael1148humphris says:

    I almost felt sorry for the snake. Enjoyed the story, but I am glad you did not take us inside.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. James says:

    Stepped into the tomb’s shadow. Then perhaps the snake was guarding something. What’s Kenna up to?

    Liked by 1 person

  8. You’ve caught the tension here really well, despite the low word count! Well done and thanks for sharing – I want to know what happens next haha 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Joy Pixley says:

    Fabulous tension on this one! I get the feeling Kenna has faced dangers like this before — and obviously survived. What a great extra at the end, that she had to get past the snake in order to get to the tomb, where I’m sure another adventure awaits!

    Liked by 1 person

  10. any1mark says:

    The tomb must hold even more threats to protect what lies within..

    Liked by 1 person

  11. Michael says:

    You created a lovely sense of tension, nicely done.

    Liked by 1 person

  12. Superb descriptions. Loved the taut tension that you wove.

    Liked by 1 person

  13. Kenna is a brave girl. facing a snake and taking action into her hands to pave her way to the tomb . great action filled story.

    Liked by 1 person

  14. Wow. Great writing! I could see it unfold.
    The Lesson
    Annie at ~McGuffy’s Reader~

    Liked by 1 person

  15. That was adrenaline packed.

    Liked by 1 person

  16. mandibelle16 says:

    So glad she destroyed this snake! Wonder what comes ahead in the tomb? Hopefully not a great deal of slimy bugs as in the third Indiana Jones!

    Liked by 1 person

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