Tell Her A Secret She Does Not Know She Has

Posted: September 25, 2017 by J.A. Prentice in Flash Fiction
Tags: , , , , , , ,


Steam fogged the man’s round glasses. For an hour, he’d stared at Hannah from across the room.

She turned from the register to Jill, who was twisting a strand of her hair around her finger like it was the only thing in the universe.

“Cover for a minute.”

“Uh huh,” Jill murmured.

Hannah stormed over to the man. “What are you looking at?”

“If I knew what you were, I wouldn’t be looking.”

What I am?”

“You’re not human,” he said. “Not with an aura like that. Like the smell of fresh stardust or the colour of heartbreak.”

Hannah sighed. “So you’re just crazy.  Of course you are.”

“You didn’t know.” Swirling eyes like nebulae glistened behind his glasses. “I am terribly sorry.”

“Just crazy,” she muttered.

She ignored the feeling of a thousand fluttering butterflies in her blood and the whispering song of an endless sea in her head.

Word Count: 150

This is for Flash Fiction for Aspiring Writers. Thanks to Priceless Joy for running the challenge and shivamt25 for providing the prompt photo!

  1. Swirling eyes like nebulae. Love those lines.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Iain Kelly says:

    She’s about to get a shock when he tells her the truth, I think!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. James says:

    I saw a made-to-TV scifi show once where aliens could be seen for who they truly were by wearing special glasses. I was kind of hoping his glasses would do the trick for her.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. mandibelle16 says:

    Beautiful metaphor to describe his eyes and it’s an interesting meet-cute and another wonderful metaphor describing her butterflies at the end of the piece. Really well written. Concise yet so descriptive and full of great images.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Wonderful story! It makes me wonder if they are falling in love inspite of her angry words!

    Liked by 1 person

  6. The Chad says:

    Love the imagery in this story. Well done

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Beautifully written and a delightful read.

    Click to read my FFfAW

    Liked by 1 person

  8. This is great! It takes an alien to know one…

    Liked by 1 person

  9. So much ambiguity with just enough to anchor it to pull you forward. Nicely done.

    Liked by 1 person

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