Things He Saw In The Rain

Posted: September 11, 2018 by J.A. Prentice in Flash Fiction
Tags: , , , , , ,


All the world was an Impressionist’s blur: a Van Gogh in grey. Water beads glistened on their way down the window, slow as caterpillars.

The later summer afternoon felt like a winter evening. The air tasted cold, everything was shrouded grey, and he looked out his window at the half-formed shapes of the empty world.

A bird perched in the branches, grey feathers wet with grey rain. A woman in a drenched coat walked down drenched sidewalks, heels clicking with disappointment. A beat-up car stopped by the roadside, headlights blaring, still and silent for five minutes before it rolled on, slouching towards the city.

Then he saw the child, striding down the street, raincoat daisy-yellow, boots splashing in every puddle, laughter on her face. Her mother raced beside her, all smiles.

The bird took to the air, raindrops fluttering from its feathers, and light shone through the grey clouds.

Word Count: 149

This is for FFfAW. Thanks to Priceless Joy for running the challenge and wildverbs for providing the prompt photo!

  1. How sweet! I love that the child in a bright yellow coat cut into the gloomliness of the world. Great story, J.A.!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Jade M. Wong says:

    I love the use of color here, J.A.! It was very clever the way you painted everything in gray and contrasted that with the little girl’s daisy-yellow raincoat. It added such a splash (ha! pun 😉 ) of color to your story as a whole.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Awesome, loved the description of the dreariness of the ‘regular’ world, and how the child fills it with colour.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Iain Kelly says:

    Loved the first sentence. I saw a similar scene through my window.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Abhijit Ray says:

    Glad to see smiling faces in this gloomy scene.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Lynn Love says:

    What a lovely image of a rainy afternoon. You’ve captured the sights and sounds perfectly. Lovely stuff

    Liked by 1 person

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