F*** it! We’ll have our own Oscars!

Oscar nominations are in, and we like a lot of what the Academy has chosen to honor. Eight nominations for Arrival?  Love it. Kubo and the Two Strings with a nomination for visual effects? Unprecedented. Fantastic. Finding Dory not given a cursory nomination just because it's Pixar? Great. And then we get to the original screenplay award... The Lobster has...

The Internet Can’t Decide if Rogue One is the Best or Worst Thing Ever

If you ask me, Disney's Star Wars Episode III.5, Rogue One: A Star Wars Story is awful. It's a cynical and lazy epitomization of all that's wrong with movie franchises these days. It's the second worst movie of the year. If you ask J.A., Disney's Star Wars Episode III.5, Rogue One: A Star Wars Story is a very good...

Our Top 5 Movies of 2016!

Welp, it's that time of year again. Fuck the Oscars, I'm sure everyone is just dying to know what two WordPress hacks thought of the year in film. So let's get right to it, shall we? Jaden's Picks Welp, 2016 sucked politically and celebrities-you-love-not-dying-ly, but it did not suck in film. While last time around we were...

Prisoners of the Silver Screen

A bitter wind whistled past the lonely marquee, stirring the fading posters. Inside, light flickered through the reels, strange shadows stretching between chairs. The reel ticked and whirred. Dust drifted across the ancient film, where black-and-white figures danced in an elegant ball-room, their sixteen-millimeter steps flawless but silent. But among them were a few whose...

Rogue One is a less enjoyable experience than eating an above-average burrito

When I went to go see Rogue One: A Star Wars Story last Saturday, I went in full of hope and an empty stomach. My burrito which I got on my lunch break at work and did not have time to unwrap, was left in the back seat of my car for a late night snack. Somewhere...

On Adulting. + A New Sister Blog!

What's this? A post that's actually bloggy? Never! Well, sorta. Hey guys, so I was lucky enough to land a job- Barista at a Barnes and Noble in the same complex as my local theatre. A long overdue level in adulting for me, this will be my first real job and I'm excited/terrified. Regimentation is something pretty...

It’s Oscars Eve. Here’s my final, complete list of movie ratings from 2015

Plus quick reviews for the oscar nominated ones! Inside Out 9.4/10 All right, I'll shut up about this one. You know both J.A. Prentice and I love it. Spotlight 8.8/10 "Unfortunately for Spotlight, I tend to like Disney movies and hard sci-fi more than talk-heavy biopics, but of all the talk-heavy biopics I've seen, this may be my...

Spotlight (2015) Review

Well, this one's a little late. I'd previously promised I'd do this several months ago, but I decided to hold off on it until we were right around the corner from the Oscars, as it is my pick (out of the nominees) for Best Picture of the year. The greatest trick a movie can pull...

2016 Golden Globes Recap/Reactions

Another year, another bout of watching Ricky Gervais roast a bunch of celebrities at the Golden Globes. It's a wonder the people behind the show keep letting him back, seeing as his shtick involves open contempt for the people in the room. Not that I mind, since he was hilarious as usual. But this recap...

Best of 2015- Movies

The first time the thought ever struck me that it would be nice to have a blog was around this time last year, when I was reading all those year end best of lists and thinking "man these look fun, I wanna make some!" Now, with 2015 in its final days, it's time to fulfill...