PSA: Please stop calling things “plot holes” when they’re f@#$%ing not.

Hi. I liked The Last Jedi. If you did not like The Last Jedi, that's cool. It's got its issues. There's issues with pacing and scenes that don't need as much screentime, and I'm undecided about the character of Rose and that, uh, thing she does to Finn which made him angry. I'm not gonna stand here and tell you... Continue Reading →

F*** it! We’ll have our own Oscars!

Oscar nominations are in, and we like a lot of what the Academy has chosen to honor. Eight nominations for Arrival?  Love it. Kubo and the Two Strings with a nomination for visual effects? Unprecedented. Fantastic. Finding Dory not given a cursory nomination just because it's Pixar? Great. And then we get to the original screenplay award... The Lobster has... Continue Reading →

Our Top 5 Movies of 2016!

Welp, it's that time of year again. Fuck the Oscars, I'm sure everyone is just dying to know what two WordPress hacks thought of the year in film. So let's get right to it, shall we? Jaden's Picks Welp, 2016 sucked politically and celebrities-you-love-not-dying-ly, but it did not suck in film. While last time around we were... Continue Reading →

The Worst Thing in the History of Everything Ever – Reviewing Attack of the Clones

I'm borrowing I Hate Everything's tagline here because there isn't a more eloquent way to put it. Star Wars Episode II: Attack of the Clones is the worst thing in the history of everything ever. George Lucas had two years to revise the things that went wrong in The Phantom Menace and learn from the criticism it got to... Continue Reading →

10 Cloverfield Lane Review

(This review is SPOILER-FREE) 10 Cloverfield Lane is the new JJ Abrams produced thriller that's fast becoming a surprise hit. Produced in near total secrecy and advertised in intentionally vague manners, it's a movie that seeks not to answer questions but raise them. And every single question was provoked in just one word: "Cloverfield." It could... Continue Reading →

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