PSA: Please stop calling things “plot holes” when they’re f@#$%ing not.

Hi. I liked The Last Jedi. If you did not like The Last Jedi, that's cool. It's got its issues. There's issues with pacing and scenes that don't need as much screentime, and I'm undecided about the character of Rose and that, uh, thing she does to Finn which made him angry. I'm not gonna stand here and tell you...

F*** it! We’ll have our own Oscars!

Oscar nominations are in, and we like a lot of what the Academy has chosen to honor. Eight nominations for Arrival?  Love it. Kubo and the Two Strings with a nomination for visual effects? Unprecedented. Fantastic. Finding Dory not given a cursory nomination just because it's Pixar? Great. And then we get to the original screenplay award... The Lobster has...

The Internet Can’t Decide if Rogue One is the Best or Worst Thing Ever

If you ask me, Disney's Star Wars Episode III.5, Rogue One: A Star Wars Story is awful. It's a cynical and lazy epitomization of all that's wrong with movie franchises these days. It's the second worst movie of the year. If you ask J.A., Disney's Star Wars Episode III.5, Rogue One: A Star Wars Story is a very good...

Our Top 5 Movies of 2016!

Welp, it's that time of year again. Fuck the Oscars, I'm sure everyone is just dying to know what two WordPress hacks thought of the year in film. So let's get right to it, shall we? Jaden's Picks Welp, 2016 sucked politically and celebrities-you-love-not-dying-ly, but it did not suck in film. While last time around we were...

Rogue One is a less enjoyable experience than eating an above-average burrito

When I went to go see Rogue One: A Star Wars Story last Saturday, I went in full of hope and an empty stomach. My burrito which I got on my lunch break at work and did not have time to unwrap, was left in the back seat of my car for a late night snack. Somewhere...

The Worst Thing in the History of Everything Ever – Reviewing Attack of the Clones

I'm borrowing I Hate Everything's tagline here because there isn't a more eloquent way to put it. Star Wars Episode II: Attack of the Clones is the worst thing in the history of everything ever. George Lucas had two years to revise the things that went wrong in The Phantom Menace and learn from the criticism it got to...

REVIEW: Star Wars Episode VI: Okay, This One Actually has Some Flaws (AKA Return of the Jedi)

And now, the insane analysis and gushing must come to a halt as I must actually do a reviewer's job and review. Star Wars and Empire are incredible movies. Return of the Jedi is very, very good. I love it. But it isn't perfect. I'm going to lay out some of it's pros and cons...

Arrival is a movie made for Interstellar’s (And The Martian’s) Critics

I think the only thing everyone can agree upon in regards to Interstellar is that it is one of the most polarizing movies of recent years. Look no further than this blog. J.A. Prentice adores it, while my reaction was more "meh." I wanted to like it because the movie was aiming to be one that married...

On Adulting. + A New Sister Blog!

What's this? A post that's actually bloggy? Never! Well, sorta. Hey guys, so I was lucky enough to land a job- Barista at a Barnes and Noble in the same complex as my local theatre. A long overdue level in adulting for me, this will be my first real job and I'm excited/terrified. Regimentation is something pretty...

10 Cloverfield Lane Review

(This review is SPOILER-FREE) 10 Cloverfield Lane is the new JJ Abrams produced thriller that's fast becoming a surprise hit. Produced in near total secrecy and advertised in intentionally vague manners, it's a movie that seeks not to answer questions but raise them. And every single question was provoked in just one word: "Cloverfield." It could...